Chi Alpha Winter Conference 2009

Is it 2009? Wow. Time flies. I was just at a retreat with a few hundred college students from the western US and I am amazed at God’s faithfulness and mercy. His love is truly amazing and life-changing. The way that He draws His children to Himself is irresistible.

All of the messages were really good, but one message was about getting rid of your junk. If any of you really know me, you’d know that I’m a packrat. I don’t like throwing anything away esp clothes, because the time comes that just after I give it away, I end up needing it for something. It always happens to me but it’s okay, I’m learning to get rid of my junk. I tend to hold on to things that I don’t need to hold on to anymore. I realized that I’d been hanging on to past relationships and I needed to let go of it all. I needed to truly move on and not allow those thoughts and entanglements to dominate my thoughts. There were things that I secretly held on to that no one else really knew except God. I gave it all to Him because He is the one in control. It was a very freeing experience. I’m so grateful that God cares enough. He cares about the little things that we care about. I don’t deserve Him.

That same night, I realized that I couldn’t just live the way I’ve been living. I’ve become complacent in my relationship with God where I thought I was okay with where I was at. I realized that I can’t live this way anymore. I had been satisfied where I was at but something just was stirred up inside me and I couldn’t NOT seek God. During the prayer/altar time, I went to the back of the room and just sat in God’s presence and cried out to God. I needed to re-surrender my life. I couldn’t live in the complacency I’d been living in. It wasn’t enough to live that way. I needed God for everything and didn’t want to be numb anymore. I didn’t want to be so critical and self-righteous about everything. I was sick of my religiousness and wanted God to change me to become more like Him – to yearn for His presence the way that He loves me. I wanted to fall in love with Him again. I wanted His heart for Davis. My love is imperfect but His love is made perfect in my weakness. God did some restoration in my life and I’m so grateful to Him.

As the fragance of worship goes up, the weight of His love pours down
As the fragance of worship goes up, the weight of His love pours down

I painted this after the conference. At the conference I sat back and listened to the worship. I saw the worship like a whirlwind being swept up to the heavens and God’s pleasure was shining through. As the fragrance of worship was being swept up to heaven, the weight of God’s love was being poured down on each of the students. It was so beautiful that I wanted to try to get something down on paper last night at DCF large group. It’s not nearly what I saw, but it’s an abstract representation of what I saw. Blues, Greens, Purples, Pinks, and Yellows (btw I used oil pastels). The last color I used was actually gold which I thought was fitting because GOLD is representative of kingship.

Lord Jesus,
Thank You for saving me
Thank You for never leaving me
I cannot hide my love
I cannot deny my heart’s desire
I want You, I need You
I can’t live without You
You are my heart’s desire
You are the Lover of my soul
I cannot be without You
You hold me in the palm of Your hand
You restore my soul
I trust in You
I will follow You
Through every storm
Through every valley
I will trust in You
Jehovah-Jireh, My Provider
How I love You
How You love me
Can’t get enough of You
Can’t get enough

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